Seemed Like a Good Idea..

You ever think you have a good idea, follow through with it and then have it go way different than planned? Well, I had one of those this past Saturday. It had been about a week and the scales had not budged, so of course I did my usual frustrated brainstorming routine to think of possible solutions. I looked back at my MyFitnessPal food journal and seen that most days I hovered around the 1100 calorie mark and decided I was eating too little. Than I got to thinking how I had been on track since 6/24/13 without any kind of cheat day. So...Saturday I decided I would allow myself to have a meal of anything I wanted, within reason. BAD IDEA!!!!

I began that day with a banana and a protein cereal bar. So far, so good (even though I never eat those cereal bars due to all the processed ingredients and sugar).

Than all heck broke loose at a Wendy's around 2pm.

What started as a small fries with a jr. bacon cheeseburger escalated big time. It was like another personality took control of my body. Like a switch was flipped that turned me into a monster and broke off so I couldn't turn it off. I was in full gluttonous binge mode and had no control and wanted no control over it.

So get ready for my full shameful disclosure of what I consumed this "cheat day":
For Lunch-
2 junior bacon cheeseburgers
1 crispy chicken ceasar wrap
1 medium fry
1 single 1/4 pound cheeseburger

For Dinner-
Probably 25 tortilla chips w/salsa
Dinner size mixed fajitas with 2 tortillas
Rice and refried beans

Snack-
4 soft baked cookies

Grand total of calories for Saturday was 4188.

I awoke Sunday feeling like I wanted to throw up. The guilt of the binge hurt more than the physical agony of a day of eating like crap. Fortunately, some good came from this "cheat day" calamity.

This was a great wake up call that I am still a food addict. My success over the last 2 months means nothing if I take even a meal off from eating right. This showed me that I cannot take a break when it comes to eating and that my body and mentality will suffer if I do. After getting right back on track Sunday and telling my weight loss community on Facebook about it also shows me that I have grown and matured in my weight loss journey. I was able to put the old food addict in me back in his cage and carry on with my new healthy lifestyle. A few months back I would have continued the junk food binge through the weekend and gained all my weight back. Not this time though. This was a speed bump on my road to my goal weight. I have realized that I need to deal with days where the scale won't move and stay the course. Eventually, my body will catch up with my good habits. I know I need to up my calories by adding maybe more healthy carbs and protein, not by adding processed crap to my diet.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, and wasn't...but at least I learned a lesson from it.

Funny How Things Change...

Today marks 60 days since my fresh start to eating well and exercising. It is also the first time in a long time that I am in the 330s...339 to be exact. This brings my total to 51 pounds lost since 6/24/13 and 73 pounds down from my heaviest weight of 412. Now that I'm getting into the established routines and habits I am noticing something else. I am also gaining.

I am gaining muscle in my arms and legs, as I am noticing how much stronger I am feeling. I am gaining stamina when I do physical activities, as shown by my increased distances I can jog now. I am gaining compliments from many people that I never would have thought even noticed me. I am gaining health, as my knees hurt less and my chest no longer aches. One last thing, perhaps the most important to me, is that I'm gaining self confidence.

This has been a rough few days for various reasons. Old Mike would have ate his way to comfort and felt sorry for himself. Thank God that this new found self confidence has taken root within me. I know I can get through the toughest of storms. I know I am worthy of everything good that this world has to offer. I am not to blame when others try to hurt me or do things to undermine me, that is solely on them and does not reflect on the good guy that I am.

For years I took crap from others. It was the little snotty kids that loved to get a cheap laugh at my expense. As an adult it has been those that think I am a pushover because I smile, laugh and am nice. Not anymore. I am only 1/3rd of the way to my goal, but the 51 pounds I have shed has helped open my eyes to who I really am inside. So now it's time to let those around me see that this weight loss is not only changing me physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

It is indeed funny how things change.

More Than Oatmeal and Tennis Shoes...

For years, 32 to be exact, I have been saturated with weight loss ideology. At 4 years old I was put in to the hospital to have my thyroid checked due to my weight. After the all clear was given, my mom was instructed to put me on a diet. Obviously that worked and I was a healthy weight the rest of my life. NOPE, NOT EVEN CLOSE.

During Childhood I had the servings counted out for my packed lunch and was told no chocolate milk. So of course, I craved chocolate milk like the other kids and would get it anyway. I was told I couldn't have anything from the ice cream truck, but mom would feel guilty and we'd be at Dairy Queen that weekend. I was kept on a strict calorie count...until we went out to a big dinner. My favorite childhood memory has to be the weekly Weight Watcher meeting. I mean, what 11 year old boy doesn't love attending a weight loss group mostly geared towards woman at that time. If I had a weight loss, we would celebrate with a Columbo Frozen yogurt (conveniently located next door to Weight Watchers) after the meeting. Finally, there was the hypnosis session that my mom and I had. I would stare at my thumb and repeat "I am calm and in control" when I craved food and that was supposed to be my trigger phrase to turn off all my food cravings. This was accompanied by listening to a tape as I went to sleep that would subconsciously reiterate this weight loss habit.With the exception of ONE summer, I never lost my weight as a kid/teen yet always was on a diet.

Flash forward to adulthood. Rice cakes, oatmeal, diet soda and tuna. These were what I was always told would lead to weight loss. Then I was told to try bee pollen pills. A guy I worked with in my early 20s told me about Dexatrim pills and eating nothing but Slim Fast shakes. A few years later I was a follower of Dr. Atkins and the low carb bonanza. I've counted points on the new WW. I even got a staple put in each ear to suppress my appetite. All that one did was make it hurt when I chewed. With all of these things I have done, I had success with all of them to some extent, but it was only temporary.

So now at 36 and just a few months removed from 412 pounds, I realize this weight loss thing is way more than just food and exercise for me.

I took the time to think before I planned the first meal or walking route. After watching countless weight loss shows, I finally listened to the people on them. Instead of just glancing at a headline about obesity in the news, I read the story...and even Googled a little more info. For years I had heard experts say you need to find out why you turn to food to successfully lose weight. I didn't think there was any reason, I just always said I loved food. I was wrong.

I realized all the personal issues I have had in my past. All the insecurity and being treated like crap by others for my weight growing up and as an adult. Things I would hear as a child regarding my weight when school clothes shopping with mom. The deaths of loved ones that happened early in adulthood. For every one of these instances and memories, food was there to release those wonderful endorphins as I enjoyed every calorie filled bite to comfort me. Now that the cat is out of the bag, it has allowed me to know before I turn to food why I am tempted to and to find another thing to fill that void and soothe those bad feelings.

I know this was long winded, but I wanted to share this. For years I was led to believe that if I had willpower and watched my calories I would lose weight. It was only after I realized that no willpower can hold back emotional stress caused eating that I started to find this easier. I'm not saying I have this obesity thing kicked and will be 200 pounds in 6 months. I will say that I am more confident then ever that knowing why I turn to food keeps me from turning to food most of the time now. It also helps when I reflect on the list in my head of what I won't miss about being overweight and what I can't wait to do once I am physically able to.

Now that I have my mind in shape, I am better equipped to get my body in shape. The phrase is "work smarter not harder", but with weight loss a better phrase would be "work smarter and harder".

Just Passed Another Mile Marker...

After frustrating myself by weighing too often and not seeing the scale move, I swore off weighing until my 2 month re-dedication anniversary. Then I cheated and got on the scales. I was thrilled to see the number finally move after a week of nothing. The scale greeted me with 348.8, so I'll just round up to 349. This is the first time I have been in the 340s in probably 8 years or so. Even though I still hate to look in the mirror, I am noticing how much my body has changed since I was 412 pounds. When I was able to jog halfway around the track last night, I could feel how my body had changed.

Each day I weigh what I want most against what I am tempted with. This has helped me so much these last 7 weeks. Waffle cones at Culver's are great, but not as great as fitting in a booth there. Pizza buffet's are big bang for the buck, but not as good a value as buying clothes at a normal store instead of big and tall shops. Most of all though, there is NOTHING that is more important than gaining my health instead of heading for an early death from a massive heart attack. After all, you don't see too many 300+ pound guys in their 50s...and you sure don't see any 400 pound guys live that long.

So I will consider hitting the 340s a mile marker, as my road to the low 200s will be filled with them. So far, so good...it is much easier now that I got my head on straight and recognize the issues that led me to become a food addict all these years. Life is good, because I am making it good!


Sidebar...Chloe and the family are also doing really well. As a freshman this school year, and being 14, Chloe is kinda preoccupied with other things (school, One Direction, friends and music), but she will eventually contribute her thoughts on here.

Yes Waiter, I Just Ordered That...

I used to want to say that to the waiters and fast food cashiers after placing my order. When I'd order the combo meal along with an extra item...or two. When I'd get the largest meal and then ask for a side of something. When I would try to eat what my family didn't finish before the waiter got back with the check...and ultimately would get busted and face that look of "holy crap, he just ate everyone's food" from the waiter. Everyone of these scenarios would lead me to having that thought of wanting to tell them that. I never did though. Now I can look back and realize it was not them who was in disbelief of all the food I was ordering...it was me. My own tiny voice, the voice which is now my dominant one, was trying to talk sense to glutton Mike. Unfortunately, I would ignore it and try escaping all my problems with that huge meal.

Nowadays, I still find myself wanting to say "Yes, I just ordered that...so what of it?!", but for different reasons. When I see their face as this large dude orders a salad. When I choose a tilapia filet over hot wings. When I ask if they can give me broccoli instead of french fries. It's not every waiter or cashier that makes that face of "seriously?" or "oh, he must be on a diet...hehehe", but there have been a couple of 'em. I'm sure eventually I will see that no one ever thought those things. Most likely it is just my insecurities getting the best of me. I'd like to think that maybe these strangers that are taking my order are actually thinking "smart choice".

At the end of the meal though, it doesn't mean a thing whatever anyone may or may not think. What matters is that I didn't order fried chicken and deep fried cheese Saturday and instead chose grilled tilapia and veggies. What matters is on Sunday I chose grilled chicken salad in lieu of a loaded calzone. What matters is that I am finally listening to myself and choosing to eat the right foods that will lead to weight loss and a new life gained.

Good...For Now Anyway...

When you stop doing something for a few days, it is easy to not do it again. I hadn't been for a walk in a few days and was really dreading going for one this evening. Fortunately Chloe wanted to get back to our exercise routine and of course I went with the family. I am so glad I did. After 31 minutes we had walked 2 miles, and I actually incorporated some jogging in with my walk. Sure I had a couple catches in my side from not breathing right, and my knees are throbbing now, and I could only jog about 1/10th mile at a time...but it was more active than I've ever been! And that is good enough...for now.

I have started following several pages from others losing weight on Facebook. By the way, like my page  http://www.facebook.com/bigdaddytofitdaddy if you would. Anyway, these pages have been so great in distracting me from wanting to go back to old habits and instead focus on what I need to do and motivating me to stay on track. The only problem I am having lately from looking at all these new friends, is playing the keeping up with the Jones' syndrome. I want to lift those weights. I want to do those burpees. I want to run 3 miles. I want to burn 2000 calories in a workout.

But I can't. Not now anyway. With years of being in the high 390s -low 400s, my joints hurt. Anything more than a brisk walk and spurts of awkward jogging leave me nearly immobile the next day. With a full time job and 25 minute drive to work, I can't afford to injure my knees or something else and be laid up with no activity during a recovery. So I have to remind myself as I admire these fitness role models that one day I will be doing those activities. Heck, at the pace I am going it may even be next month for some of the exercises.

I am very happy with my progress thus far. 45 days ago at 390 pounds, after several months of not trying to lose my fat, I could barely get a 1 mile walk in. Today, about 35 pounds lighter, I was able to do 2 miles with jogging...and if it weren't for needing to get kids home and dinner fixed, I could've went at least .25 mile further. The old pessimist Mike would say "I have so much more weight to lose" or "Why bother walking, that isn't real exercise", but now I can say I have lost almost 1/4th of what my goal to lose is in 45 days and any movement I do is better than sitting on my butt! I will do more to whip my body into shape eventually, when physically possible without injury. For now though, eating right and a brisk walk with the family is helping me transform myself into becoming the man I want to be.

A Week Old Pic...

I am late on posting this by about 8 days, but I just now figured out how to make this pic. No jaw dropping changes, but I can clearly see in this pic that my gutt, back and face went down in those first 30 days. I plan on doing these pics monthly for me and the family to have a visual record of the physical changes, just as I will keep posting here and on http://www.facebook.com/bigdaddytofitdaddy to track my emotional and mental changes. By the way, I'd appreciate a like on my facebook page :0)

New Facebook Page...

So after following/liking so many great weight loss pages on Facebook, I have made my own. I hope to use that as a quick way to post the highs, lows, tips and whatever else that will help me and others that are on a weight loss journey. Take a second and come like it...I'd appreciate it :0)

https://www.facebook.com/bigdaddytofitdaddy

A Number Can Mean So Much...

Over the last couple days I had been feeling kinda blah and not quite myself. Today was different, thank God. I awoke with pep in my step and the bloated feeling I have had was gone. My clothes seemed more baggy than they had last time I wore them a week ago. So I decided to do an impromptu weigh in before work. I am so glad I did, as I reached a new milestone and am now in the 350's...358 to be exact!

My weight had always just kinda popped up on me. I didn't weigh often when I worked a warehouse job in my early 20s, but the physical work kept me at around 280 pounds. Yes, that was way overweight too, but it just didn't seem as dire. I remember weighing in for the heck of it at my works loading dock scale right before I moved from Indianapolis to Kentucky and seen I was at 300 pounds and just felt devastated. Flash forward 2 years later and I joined a small weight loss club with my mom as I knew my desk job had packed on a couple pounds over those two years. I will never forget my first weigh in not being able to get my weight recorded because the scale stopped at 350 and the special little weight that made it go up to 400 pounds couldn't be found. I was so embarrassed, depressed and mad at myself. Within 4 months I was down to the 330s and then just did one of my famous jumps from the weight loss wagon. A few years later I weighed at work and found myself in the 370s. All I could think about is how there is no way I can get to 400. So I dieted hard and then would slip....and then diet hard....and then slip, and basically hovered the 378 pound mark for years. Than my lowest point happened at my largest point. I weighed in at a staggering 412 pounds about 2 years ago. I was scared to be that weight. Unfortunately not scared enough to stick to a common sense weight loss plan. Over the last two years I have tried all the fad diets and lost several pounds, only to go back to eating large servings of crappy food and gain it back. Thankfully, that whole better late than never thing kicked in with me.

So here I am 5 weeks into my new life that I started with my family and a crew of friends on my weight loss support group. My reaction to 358 pounds is quite different than the first time I seen that number. I gave a cheesy fist bump and smiled ear to ear. There is a lot of road in front of me, I know this, but knowing that over the last few weeks I have busted through the 390s, 380s, 370s and now the 360s completely inspires me to keep up the fight and get this fat off of me for good. I know I can do this and not just temporarily.

Protein power, low carb, low fat, low calorie, vegetarian, vegan, shakes, cabbage soup, South Beach, Slim Fast, Adipex, Hydroxycut, and the 1,500,000 other weight loss products/books/plans/ideas can be great. Unfortunately, too many of us spend time and money looking for the magical solution that will make us lose weight fast and still let us eat those delicious, yet horrible for us, foods. I wish I could have back the money I have spend over the last 18 years of my adult life on the weight loss fads/pills/programs and put that money towards exercise equipment and running shoes. Hopefully someone reading this who is looking for that magical solution for weight loss will find it here: Eat lean meats, vegetables and fruits in moderation...drink a lot of water everyday...exercise each day, even if it is just walking...stop eating processed foods like crackers, chips, soda (even diet sodas), sugary snacks and fast food.

Some may say this is awful preachy and reminiscent for someone who still has over 100 pounds to lose. But this weight loss thing is very important to me. I want my friends and family to get healthy that are doing all the things I used to think would lead to weight loss that only were keeping me in a cycle of looking for something better. I also know that I am only a bad meal away from my old habits, which is why I post small proud moments like this on here so often now, because it reminds me of how far I've come and that I have done too good to turn back now.

Thanks for bearing with me on my reflecting about my weight climbing and my sermon of healthy eating and exercising. I love you all and hope you find the desire to make those necessary changes for a healthier you or that you keep doing what is working for you to reach that goal you want most.

What's going on?

Today marks the second day that my get up and go seems have gone up and went. Yesterday I thought the reason my evening walk/jog became just a casual paced walk was my dinner. I had made a nice healthy dinner, but it was more carbs than usual with a sweet potato and corn on the cob. After tonight's walk though, I'm not so sure. I was even slower tonight and didn't hardly jog any at all. Dinner, which was 2 hours before my walk, was green beans and chicken breast so I know that wouldn't have made me sluggish. So now I wonder what the heck is going on.

Less than a week ago I was at my fastest/furthest jog/walk. I wanted to go as hard as my joints would allow. At my size it is hard to jog long distances, but I sucked it up and did it anyway. I am just not finding the desire to push myself these last couple days. Thankfully, Chloe and the other two are kicking butt every time we head to the track. So tomorrow I think I will ditch the walking track and head to the gym. I'm going to do some weights and then add a mile of treadmill. My hope is to conquer my anti-social shyness and ask someone to show me some weight exercises instead of me doing those weight machines that I am always scared I will topple over. Maybe tomorrow will be that day. Not trying to get all weight lifter huge, but I need to get some strength and build up what muscle I do have under all this flab.

I am very thankful to have my motivation still at an all time high. My eating habits are still strong...and I have ditched all diet sodas, even those with Splenda that I mentioned a few post ago. Maybe it is the last 3 days of drinking that crap after not having any for a month that has caused my sloth like slowness on the track. Maybe it's the frustration of thinking of how far I still have to go. Who knows what it is. Oh well, all I can do is keep on moving. After all, no matter how slow I may be now, I am faster than I was sitting on my couch.

Trivial Matter, Maximum Thoughts...

As I start this post at about 1:30am, during yet another bout of sleeplessness, I've got a restless mind tonight. The day (I am referring to yesterday...kind of confusing writing in the early hours of the next day about the previous day) started off great. I did my weight loss contest final weight in and confirmed my 27 pound/7.11% body weight loss. Then me and the kids met friends for lunch. I didn't want a salad and I didn't want to eat crappy either. So I opted for a turkey bacon avocado sandwich on rye with steamed broccoli on the side. Two things wrong with this order on my part, I forgot to say no mayo and I have pretty much quit eating bread. The bacon I wasn't worried about, as I don't eat much greasy meat and am almost always under my calories. I didn't beat myself up too bad over the mayo and bread, and my lunch totaled less than 600 calories, so no biggie.

Tonight however I found out something that I kind of wish I could forget. Let me back up for a second first though to recap...I have not had a diet soda in a month due to the use of Aspartame and the link that has been found between it and food cravings, compulsive eating that it may cause and countless other not so good side effects. Since quitting diet soda, and all pop, I have felt great and had no food cravings (except for one stress eating night a few weeks ago) and have not regretted quitting it. So now back to tonight and what I learned: A favorite diet soda of mine, Diet Cheerwine (only available in the south and the closest place that carries it is 20 minutes away from home), is made with Sucralose sweetener (Splenda) instead of Aspartame! This was big news for me since I use Splenda as my sweetener and have not had any of the reported issues that are associated with Aspartame, so I figured now I can have the occassional Diet Cheerwine as a change up beverage.

Now though, 4 hours removed from that bubbly stranger diet soda, I have this feeling of guilt and regret. Usually this is reserved for eating bad foods, but right now it is because of a drink. My gut feels bloated. I'm sure the infusion of caffeine is helping my sleeplessness. I also wish I had drank more water today because after my diet soda I didn't have another drop of water. I guess part of my fear is that my subconscious will associate diet soda with the crap foods I used to eat and start craving them again. Another fear is that this will lead me to drinking more than just 1 can every other day and lead to decreasing my water intake and slowly get me out of my good habits. Who knew a 12 oz can of 0 calorie soda could lead to anxiety and fear of relapsing to food past food addictions.The other side of that is this opens up a low calorie treat that I have missed since quitting Aspartame sodas. Looks like the nervous "what ifs" outweigh the "no big deal" when it comes to discovering a legal diet soda.

So with mixed feelings on a trivial matter, I think I will stay the course with water as my bff and leave the Diet Cheerwine as my bi-weekly treat. I don't think I can trust myself to having one a day or every other day. The old Mike is not gone yet, he is merely being trained on healthy living. I'd hate for him to cut class and fall off the wagon because of the sweet taste of diet pop. I figure I am the only person that can read so much into drinking a can of soda, so it's okay if you have that "are you kidding me" look on your face after reading this. Just had to vent about a 1:30 am thought that was on my mind and this blog is the only thing awake that would listen.

30 Day Pics...Already Seeing Some Changes!

30 Days Later...

Yesterday was the 30th day of my family's pledge to healthier eating and exercising. This is the first time as a family we have committed to a new lifestyle. Usually we would adopt a diet, follow it for a few days or weeks and then fall off the wagon. I just wish that I would have committed to living a healthy new life years ago. Fortunately, we as a family are doing it now and loving every day of it!

At my heaviest last year I was around 413 pounds. Somehow though I was numb to my weight and just carried on as normal. But things were and are not normal. Being considered morbidly obese is not even close to normal. To get winded tying shoes or picking up dropped change is not normal. Eating three loaded plates at a buffet is not normal. Finishing off 10 hot wings, 6 slices of pizza and washing it down with a diet soda is not normal. Watching Food Network and salivating over the foods is not normal. Yes, I have been in my own world of denial off and on for many years. Thank God my head is clear and I still have time to fix things.

The reasons why I wanted and needed to lose weight have always been plentiful, yet never strong enough to keep me on course. My family medical history tells me that if I stay obese I face heart disease, cancer, hypertension and diabetes. Being a pallbearer at my Aunt's funeral years back found me wheezing and fighting for air, along with the reminder that at my weight there are no pallbearers if I die due to my casket would be way to heavy. In fact they actually use a small bulldozer and chains to move king size caskets. (Yes that is morbid, but it is also a fact). Our kids are 14 and 12 years old, and I have never been able to fit an amusement park ride with them or been confident enough to get in a pool at a water park with them. Then there is the anxiety of if I will fit in the booths or plastic chairs when we walk into a new restaurant. I could go on and on....but you get the point.

Thirty days ago all of these thoughts weighed on my mind, and chest pains in the middle of the night helped hammer them home. My 12 year old son didn't like weighing more than his mom. Chloe wanted to lose her weight before the best of her teenage years. My wife wanted to get healthy, as she never has had a weight problem, but she knows her choice in foods hasn't been good. I just want to live life normally and without restrictions that my gut has placed on me.

So after 30 days, here are the results:
Mike - 27 pounds lost and can walk over 2 miles at about 4 mph and even jog a bit and quit drinking pop
Chloe - 18 pounds lost and can now jog longer during 2 mile walks, almost cut out pop
Austin - 4 pounds lost and can run and walk longer than he ever has, almost cut out pop
Crystal - 2 pounds lost, has doubled her miles walked a day and quit drinking pop

I know I have a long way to go to hit my goal weight. I also know that changing our lifestyle from crappy habits to being healthy will get me to what I need to weigh. My life no longer revolves around the next meal I eat or the awesome deal on candy I find. Instead it revolves around my family and all the things I will one day be able to do with them and hopefully the added years I will have to spend with them.

Now where was I...

Whew, it has been a busy 11 days since my last post so I have been a slacker on posting here. I know that many of you reading this that have been following me probably assumed I had fell off the wagon again, and that would be understandable. BUT I DIDN'T, so keep reading...this is an upbeat post, lol.

Over the last week we have replaced gym/track exercising with cleaning out a shed and rearranging the house. So instead of a mile and a half walk with some weights, I am bending, lifting and pulling stuff at home. At least I'm moving and sweating. By Monday we should have our house in order and be back to doing the usual exercise routine.

Eating habits have remained great for the most part. I have not had pop of any sort, or anything with aspartame, since 6/24 and am finally good with just drinking water. I do use the flavor enhancers occasionally that are made with sucralose sweetener (Splenda) just to have something different. There was one particular night that I broke bad and had a mini food binge. A lot was on my mind and I let that lead me to food for comfort. Included in this 4 hour binge was a pack of Pop-Tarts (bought prior to my 6/24 fresh start) and about 800 other calories made up of bread (which I usually avoid) and other processed foods. Fortunately, the next morning I dissected the night before and recognized why I ate like a hog and have been all good since.

Let me mention Chloe, since this is Mike AND Chloe Lose It. Chloe has been doing great, but did have a week off eating wise. She was a volunteer at church camp a county away from us. Her chores mainly revolved around helping the women in the kitchen at meal times. She had great exercise from all the walking and constant moving things around and taking out garbage. Unfortunately, Summer camps are not known for low fat and lower carb foods. She did have watermelon and salad, but she also enjoyed chicken tenders, pizza, ice cream and candy bars, along with regular pop. What the heck, she's still a kid, so I'm glad she had fun and didn't get tore up over eating not so well. After all, the camp would not have been able to fix her the healthier options that we have at home, so she didn't have much choice.

So now Chloe is back home and we are all finishing up the house deep clean and rearrangement this weekend. Come Wednesday it will be one month since our fresh start. I will post here a new pic (I plan on taking a pic of us every month to see the changes) and my updated weight loss numbers. Don't forget, we have a weight loss friends group on Facebook called "We're all losing it". If you'd like to be a member, let me know and we'd be glad to add you. No obligation to post anything, but it is a friendly group with the same goal of losing weight and being healthy that offer motivation and support.

A Truly Happy Birthday

Today is my 36th birthday. I never get too excited over birthdays and never really celebrate mine. Today was no different in that sense, but it hit me tonight just how special it is. This birthday is the first one I have had while living a healthy lifestyle. That is something celebration worthy. Just check out the alternative birthday cake that my awesome kids made for me (yes, that is an apple with grapes) for further proof that this one is a special birthday.

Every previous birthday has involved a big meal out somewhere. After devouring probably 1600 calories, I would come home to a couple pieces of cake or giant cookie and ice cream. Than I would think about all the things I wanted to do that particular year in my life. It never failed that losing weight was always tops on my list of to do items.

How crazy is that?! No wonder I have never succeeded at long term weight loss. I started every year with a binge eating day. But hey, that's what you are supposed to do on birthdays...only it doesn't have to be. There is so much more to a birthday.

At least three people mentioned birthday cake or asked my dinner plans while I was at work. To be honest, I never even considered having either one today. Instead I took some time today to think about how special this day is and how great this year will be. Starting my 36th year in the midst of a 20 pound weight loss in the last 15 days is a perfect beginning. My kids and wife are right there with me eating healthy and exercising. We have a new lifestyle, not just a diet, that will benefit my whole family. By next year I could be at or near my goal weight and my risks for all the hereditary diseases in my family will be reduced greatly. No cake or entree can come close to those things.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am living again. So many years I just went through the motions of life. Work, eat, sleep, tend to kids, tend to my mom and sometimes tend to myself. Now I am actually doing the right things to take care of me and help me out. Having the family doing the same thing as me takes away any guilt I think I used to feel when I would just focus on me.

There are still some emotional issues that I think lead me to some of my food addiction I am working through understanding, As I approach my late 30s I am thankful to finally recognize these things so that I can leave them in the past. Another positive sign that this will be the best year yet health wise.

That is why today is a truly happy birthday...even without wings 'n fries, marble cake and french vanilla ice cream!

Mike

Two Weeks of Freshness

Two weeks ago yesterday, my family and I proclaimed a fresh start to living healthy. This was probably the 1000th fresh start I have had since I was a dieting 4 year old. It seems different this time though. I have put all the little helpful tidbits I have known for all my years of trying to lose weight and added them to new things. This fresh start has been something special, I can feel it and see it.

The education of food has been with me for ages...I just chose to make excuses not to follow it. I know low fat means higher carb and low carb means higher fat. I know fried is bad and grilled is good. I know what calories I need and can judge how many are in most foods. More importantly now though, I know the difference between processed crap foods and clean foods. Also, I now realize as long as I am eating the right foods, I don't have to waste my time worrying about carbs, fat grams or, to a point, calories.

I've heard "eat less, move more" for ages...I just didn't pay attention to the move more part, and as stated above, I disregarded eat less. I bought the workout clothes. My cabinet has housed tons of vhs and dvd workouts. No episode of weigh loss reality shows go unwatched. I joined a gym multiple times, but would walk a treadmill a few times and quit. I could dress, shop and talk like I exercised, but I didn't exercise. Now, everyday we are either at a track or gym getting our long walk in. I have also came to terms that I will not be able to go hardcore on working out until physical limitations my size has me under are lifted. One day though, my 1.5 mile walks will be a few mile jogs mixed with weights. I know this now to be true for my future.

The above knowledge mixed with this blog, our weight loss group on Facebook and the fact the entire family is in this together makes this fresh start special and still fresh. As of Sunday 7/7/13 I weight 18 pounds less than I did 6/24/13. This is all thanks to following the common sense I had previously ignored. I drink lots of water, I eat regular portions of real food and I make myself sweat and exercise each day. No secret pills and no starvation, just doing what I should have been doing for decades. Better late than never.

I am early in this journey, but one day I will look at these posts and will hope that my journey (and that of my whole family) may inspire others to make their changes for a better life too.

Til next time,
Mike

Happy 4th of July!

Better late than never as I start this post at 11:22pm. The holiday that used to revolve around food, revolved around family instead this year. Gone was the cake, greasy meat and high carb side dishes. This year the new lifestyle was easy to spot.

Rain took out the option of grilling. This kinda worried me as mom brought up frying burgers or getting fried chicken as options for today. After I made it clear we would not eat bad today, mom was back on board...though we could tell she missed the old foods. As we arrived at moms we were presented with much healthier food. Boiled chicken tenders that were browned after cooking with no oil, homemade cole slaw with miracle whip not mayo, corn on the cob, watermelon and sugar free chocolate mousse. Total calories for the whole day for me was 1100!

So proud of my family for ditching the sweets and fatty food tradition. We didn't even miss the old stuff as we spent the afternoon playing games and focusing on stuff at home. It finally feels like we are focusing more on living and less on eating.

There is a phrase I heard years back "eat to live, don't live to eat". Not sure who said it, but for the first time, maybe ever, we are doing this. Counting this day as a non-scale victory as food was not our focus on this great holiday.

Mike

I could have cheated...

Tonight my wife and I went out for dinner without the kids for the first time in months. It's actually the first time we had ate out in two weeks and the first time since my fresh start last Sunday. I have been really good with tracking my calories on the MyFitnessPal app and knew I had 1000 calories left in the day, due to missing breakfast...yes, that is not good to do. So as we pulled into Applebee's, I had visions of boneless wings and steaks dancing in my head. Fortunately, I put old Mike into a chokehold and vowed not to be stupid. I kept that vow and ordered from the under 550 calorie menu. While my wife dined on her appetizer sampler (that she wants me to clarify she only ate half of), I had grilled shrimp and zucchini with steamed rice for 300 calories..which tasted great. I also made it through my 7th day without pop and chose unsweetened tea in lieu of Diet Coke.

I so could've stole a bite...but didn't

There is a little disappointment tonight as I did not get any walking or exercising in. I sat on my butt and had a lazy day. The regret I have right now should be perfect motivation to get back at it tomorrow. Along with getting back to walking and continuing eating right tomorrow, I am also trying a "fat flush detox" water recipe out starting tomorrow. Don't worry, I realize there is no magic weight loss drink/pill/genie. I am trying this out strictly for the fact that all I drink is water and this will be more flavor and who knows, maybe the good ingredients will help the fight. The drink is made by slicing an average cucumber, orange and grapefruit and placing it in a gallon pitcher, add about 16 mint leaves (I just threw in about 4 whole stems w/leaves) and cover all with water and ice. The longer it sits, the better. You can keep adding water as you drink it, but after 2 days throw out the ingredients and begin with a fresh batch.

Here's to another good day and hope for and even better tomorrow!
Mike

It's that time again...

Fourth of July is right around the corner. For those who have read my posts of holidays past, you know we are vulnerable during these cookout holidays. Thoughts of hamburgers and hot dogs, bratwurst, steak, ribs, and all the other wonderfully unhealthy delicious foods swim in my head. Fortunately there is a bigger thought on my brain, which is me not wanting to be fat anymore.

I have already nipped the unhealthy food planning that my mom will hint at being okay for that one day. There will be no desires for cakes, sausages and chips that I have enjoyed on Fourth of July's passed. I can look in the mirror and see the results of all that deliciousness...I can also look at the size tags on my clothing. Instead, we will have a ton of delicious food that will also get me to my goal, along with the rest of my crew. Chicken breast kabobs with all sorts of veggies, a regular salad with lettuce and spinach, and watermelon for dessert. Early for a menu already you may ask? Not for this family. If I don't fill this plan for the Fourth in everyone's head, it will be so easy to veer into sugar and fat land. Oh the joys of being a food addict...said no one trying to lose weight ever.

Have a great weekend friends!

Mike

Kicking pop to the curb...

As of today it has been 3 days since I have had a diet soda. My headache is pretty much gone now, thanks in part to a cup of black coffee a day. I don't want to be one of those preachy guys that tell you that you should quit pop too, but I do want to share some things I have noticed over the last 3 days that keep me from wanting it.

First off, I have drank diet soda since I can remember. My mom is a diabetic and began drinking the first diet drink Tab before I was even born. I don't recall going more than a day without a diet soda prior to this week. Usually the dull headache from caffeine withdraw was enough to make me run back to my Diet Dew. I never considered it a true addiction though, yet I have withdraw from it...funny now that I think about it.

I figured it was zero calories (although recently the label now says 5 calories), no carbs or fat, so it has to be a good way to have something sweet without the calories.

I believe I was wrong.

In the past I had read that the artificial sweetener in it, aspartame, was suspected to cause food cravings. Since the body thinks aspartame is sugar, insulin is released by the body. When the body realizes it isn't really sugar, the brain begins craving sugar and other food cravings. Obviously I am no doctor or expert, but this pretty much sums up what different studies have concluded.

Just looking in the shopping carts tonight at the store, I seen diet drinks in overweight people's carts far more than any other carts. I wondered if they too had been drinking it for years and still leaning on it as a low calorie harmless treat.

I truly believe now that there is something to diet drinks leading to wanting to eat more. It's not a proven fact and I'm sure in moderation it is not as bad. But I did not get to my highest weight of 413 pounds from moderation. So for those who chug it like I did, I think it is hindering weight loss.

My food journals and calorie charts these last 2 out of 3 days have been lower than ever before. I have not wanted to snack or cheat on my new healthy foods lifestyle. You may say that it's only two days, but as my past indicates, going 2 hours without wanting to eat bad has been a battle all my life...let alone going these last 3 days without cheating. I am making a conscious effort to look for sucralose (Splenda) or other non-aspartame sweeteners if I have to choose one, but my aim is to eventually eliminate the artificial sweeteners altogether as I steer toward more clean eating and less processed foods.

Hope this didn't sound all preachy or like the pop-nazi. I know that many folks can handle one can a day and still drink their water and eat right. I also know many like me that have had the same common factor of diet soda and obesity.

Thanks for reading and keep those fingers crossed and prayers going for Chloe and I (along with the whole family) that we keep on the right track in this journey.

Mike

Every victory counts...

A great Facebook page I follow is "The Anti-Jared". The pages creator is named Tony and has lost a ton of weight and is living proof of how you can go from fat to buff if you put in the work. One of the features on his page is NSV (non-scale victories). These are any accomplishment during someone's weight loss/fitness journey that doesn't involve the scale. People will share theirs with Tony, and in return he posts some of them on his page. They range from fitting a old pair of jeans to fitting in a booth at a favorite eatery. Tonight, I have two NSV of my own to share.

First NSV: Today is my second day in a row with no diet sodas. All I have had has been water, green tea or black coffee. Besides the dull headache from not having as much caffeine, I feel great.

Second NSV: This is my big one as it involved my whole family. I had debated all day if I wanted to go to the gym or on a walk tonight. First I said it looked too much like rain, so better not go on a walk. Than I said my knees were sore, so better not go to the gym. Once I got home from work, Chloe was in lazy mode and said she was fine not going to exercise and her brother was content with that too. So Crystal gets home from work and we decide since it was already after 7pm we wouldn't be able to go on a walk or gym due to "Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition" was coming on at 8pm. As a family we were choosing to sit on our butts to watch TV instead of exercise like the show we were watching was advocating. We were so quick to slide comfortably into our old habits after just 1 day. BUT...after 20 minutes into the show, I let my recliner down and put on my shoes and said "I am going for a walk and will watch this later online". That was me breaking a chain holding me back. No sooner that I said this, Crystal, Chloe and Austin all grabbed their shoes and said they were going too. Flash forward a little over 30 minutes later and the kids and I had walked (with a lil bit of a jog at times) over 1 1/2 miles and Crystal had did almost 2 1/2 miles. Yay us!

These may seem like trivial things to some, but when you have 150 pounds to lose, like me, every victory counts. I could focus on not being able to do the Couch to 5k routine tonight (I'll hit on that shortly) or not doing a Biggest Loser hardcore workout til I puked. Instead though, I will be proud of getting of us getting off our rear ends, turning off the TV and sweating until we were dripping and smelly. At our weight and fitness level, a little over a mile and a half walk/jog in 30 minutes is a big step. We know that each day we do this, we will go a little further and a little faster. These little victories will lead us to the big victory.

Last thing. I downloaded a Couch to 5K app and attempted it tonight. I did not quit during it, but I was physically not able to do it yet. It started with a 5 minute warm up walk. Then it prompted me to run for for 60 seconds. At the end of that 60 second run I needed an entire lap around the track to get my breathing regulated and was sincerely scared I was having a heart attack. I know this was just my severely out of shape body going into shock and I probably would have been safe to try the run again after a few minutes. But at 390 pounds, with no EMT's around and no personal trainer watching over me, I took the safe route and just brisk walked and light jogged the rest of the session. While I was disappointed for a moment, I had to take a step back and realize that this truly is a marathon to lose my weight and not a sprint. I will pick up the 5K app again when I have some more walks and workouts under my belt. I just need time to get in enough shape to feel safe doing it.

Thanks for checking out my post and reading about my families proud moments. I really feel that all of us working together and helping each other will be the key to our success. If you need some encouragement in your own weight loss journey, or just don't want to have to do it alone, feel free to join our weight loss support group "We're Losing It" on Facebook...we'd love to have you join us. The link and more information on it is in previous posts on our blog here.

Take care friends
Mike

And here's Chloe...

I took a fuzzy pic, go figure, but here she is...

Here I am...

Letting my guard down on this one. Full pics taken of me today by Chloe...and my current weight for all the world to see. This will be the last time I am this weight or this big! No more "try" or "hope" in my vocabulary, as these words allow room for failure.

Never too late...

After my last post inviting friends to join my weight loss support group on Facebook, things were kind of up and down. Thankfully though, there was no big fails and I am happy to be in an upbeat mood tonight posting on here. Let me bring you up to speed on Mike and Chloe (and family)...

The weight loss group is going strong with 18 members. Please check out my last post for details if you'd like to join us! This group has helped me by not only having the support of friends, but also the accountability factor since it was my idea to start it.

Exercise has not been a part of our routine, but we made some progress on this today. We had joined a gym in March, went 3 times and had not been back since the end of March. Some of my reasons for not going back were school got busy and some issues with my mom's health taking up my time. To be honest though, most of it was laziness and old habits. After much debate on cancelling the membership, we instead went today and worked out for an hour. It was not a hardcore workout like on Biggest Loser, but it was 30 minutes on a treadmill and 30 minutes on a bike. Next trip will include some strength training. Chloe and my son Austin joined in on the exercising and didn't take a single break. Unfortunately Crystal worked late and missed the fun. So after today, I guess we will keep the membership. I have also downloaded a Couch to 5k app for my phone that I am going to start tomorrow. I will do that around the neighborhood as I refuse to run in a gym and potentially break a treadmill or fall in front of an audience.

Eating has been the wildcard, but we also made progress on this today. There have been salads and grilled chicken. There has also been burgers and fries. As I sat in my recliner last night I had another one of those clarity moments, helped by aches in my chest, that remind me of how big I am and how short I should expect to live at my weight. I called my mom this morning to explain to her all that was on my mind about my weight, failures at losing it and how OUR routines and eating habits could not continue. I was so happy to hear my mom agree and fully profess her support for me and the family, as well as her own desire to improve on her nutrition. Instead of a trip to take her for an ice cream, we went and shopped for produce together.

My drink of choice has always been diet sodas. We all know the aspartame is not good for weight loss as it can increase appetite. Not to mention the additives and aspartame are clearly not good for your health. Regardless of all that, I grew up with Diet Pepsi-holics and became a Diet Dew-holic. So today I filled a 2 liter bottle with water and proceeded to drink it and an additional 32 ounces of it. Sure I have a dull caffeine headache, but I will feel much better in the long run by only drinking water.

So I know that was kind of all over the place, and mostly about me, but remember that I never claimed to be good at writing these posts. The point I hope this all makes is that no matter how long it has been since you ate right, no matter how much weight you have to lose, no matter how many fresh starts you have started, it is never to late to make a change for the better and keep moving forward!

Take care friends!
Mike

Join us!

I started a friendly weight loss support group called "We're Losing It" on Facebook to help anyone stay motivated and get the support needed to conquer weight loss. We would love to have you join us there and post your stories, tips and anything else you'd like that may help others out. Also, if you are struggling at times, let the group pick you up and encourage you when needed. Below is the link to the group where you can request to be added and a link to my Facebook page where you can message me for an invite. This is a closed group so only those of us who know how hard it can be to lose weight are members, so no need to be shy.

Mike's:  https://www.facebook.com/michael.young.35513800

We're Losing It group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/116222191920666

Spinning our wheels

We have lost a lot since the last time I posted, just not weight. We have lost the desire to work out and have went to the gym 3 times in the almost 3 months we have belonged to it. We have lost motivation to choose the right foods when we eat out. We have lost the common sense to eat right at home. We have lost our way. Fortunately we have not lost our instinct to want to lose weight. Unfortunately though, just wanting to lose this weight is not enough to do it.

I find spurts of motivation daily. There are some great pages I follow on Facebook. The Anti-Jared, Kiss my fat goodbye, Bryan Ganey and some others that share their lives and the struggles to lose weight. Of course, my own demons come out hours later that lead me to eating too much and terrible foods. I watch Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition and am moved by the lives that are changed. Just not moved enough to actually move off of the couch and exercise. As I browse Yahoo for news headlines, I read the life changing weight loss stories that come from various news outlets and find myself feeling down thinking about how that could be my story had I not failed so often with my own journey.

I have been fat for so many years that I have became an expert on how to lose weight...but can't seem to do it. I know how many calories are in most foods. The serving size of just about any food is pretty easy for me to realize. The food part of healthy eating I know, I just don't follow it close enough. On top of all that is my lack of exercising. So here I am still spinning my wheels on my weight loss journey and holding down the rest of my family as they follow in my footsteps.

But there is hope on the horizon.

For years I have heard that food addiction is triggered by emotional or psychological issues. I have always balked at that. My food issues I summed up to just loving the taste of food. After all, what could I possibly have on my mind that would drive me to food for comfort? This last few days, after seeing so many shows and stories speaking about psychological reasons for food addiction, I decided to at least think about that possibility. I think that maybe there is something to it. I won't get into it on here, but there are some things that this big daddy has been through that maybe I haven't gotten past. So hopefully as I deal with those ghosts in my head, my eating habits will change.

I hope there is still someone out there reading this that can relate to the long journey of losing weight and would love to hear from you if you are. There will be more posts to come soon and perhaps a community weight loss support page on Facebook again sometime in the near future. Take care friends.

Mike

yada yada yada

On again, off again, back on again...never have quit the journey, just making a lot of stops along the way to eat. The priority to lose weight is still there, but the commitment finds its way in and out of our daily routine. I won't waste a ton of time on posting the same stuff I've posted 100 times before. Just keep us in your prayers that we can get our stuff 100% together and get this weight loss going. It is so easy to let stress and life put us in situations where we eat the wrong food and too much of it. With the school semester over, things should improve. We'll check in soon. As it stands today though, I have not gained any weight since my last post...but I have not lost much either. Chloe has had her ups and downs too, but both of us are still in the fight to get our eating under control and be healthier. Next update I hope to be sharing a more positive report.

Mike

A big step...

I will get to the big step in a sec, but first a quick update since last week. I ate healthy every other meal last week. This past weekend I ate terrible crap. Thankfully though, I was able to get through yesterday and today eating very healthy and am feeling good already.

Now for my big step...

Today the family and I went to the local fitness center for the first time in years. I am very self conscious and being this overweight in front of fit folks terrified me. After much thought I realized I cannot succeed if I won't find the strength to overcome barriers. So at 6:30pm we walked in and worked out as a family.

I was so proud to see my 11 year old son give his all on the treadmill and bike for an entire hour. This is my kid that hates veggies and our neighborhood walks. Thank God he had fun there tonight! Crystal and Chloe sweated it out on the cardio machines.

Than there was me. I felt terribly out of place. Besides the bike and treadmill,  I hardly knew what else to use. Maybe it was in my head, but I think I was the only fat dude there...I certainly was the largest one there. So I took on the recumbent bike to begin and within minutes I stopped caring that I was the heaviest person there. I stopped thinking every buff dude was thinking I should be lifting weights not biking. Instead I focused on how great it was thst I was moving and getting healthy with my family and not sitting and eating crap at the house. I focused on the fact that for every day I do this, I will be that much closer to a new me.

Many weight loss success stories include the advice that it doesnt matter how you start exercising, just start. Today I started. I may be weeks from being in enough shape to do hardcore workouts, but to spend an hour my first day peddling, walking and light resistance training feels great!

More to come soon. Take care friends.
Mike

Back again!

Told you I'd be talking to you soon :0)

No need for me to go into boring details of my meals, but I will tell you that I have managed to stay within my calories and ate the good veggies and fruits the last 2 days.

I will be joining the local fitness center this week and getting a family membership. My plan was to do that today, but with my mom in the hospital and a packed to do list for school, I had to put it on hold. This will be a for sure thing, I mean I didn't buy nice workout shoes for nothing, lol.

A friend of mine pointed out a great page on Facebook. This really cool guy shares his story of overcoming being over 400 pounds and how he lost it the common sense way. While looking at his page there are tons of inspirational comments from him and others, tips and other useful items for anyone looking to get fit. His name is Tony, but the page is The Anti-Jared...here's the link:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Anti-Jared/285102642711?ref=ts&fref=ts

I hope you all have a great week and I'll check back with you all soon.

Mike

New, yet oddly familiar...

So I logged into Blogspot with the intentions of creating yet another, my 3rd, blog. The idea was it would be a place for me to post daily (okay, weekly) pics of healthy meals, pics from where I am walking at and just a journal type blog of this fresh start to getting my weight off. I figured that since Chloe isn't really into posting stuff, I could include her as needed on the new blog and just not worry about drafting her in to be a big part of it.

It was only after seeing my first failed blog staring at me on my account page that I made the connection. I continuously never finish what I start...just like my blogs. So instead of throwing away another year of posts that document the good and bad, I am going to build on it. This is not all for nothing, and I need to realize that every misstep in the past has gave me an education in what not to do.

I won't drag this post on and on. Basically, I am having a grand re-opening of Mike and Chloe Lose It that will be stocked full of new found commitment and motivation in the Young household. I hope I can still find the much needed support of friends, family and those I have never met. Yes I have said some of this before. I get that. But my only option is to jump back on track and rededicate my focus, so if I sound repetitive than so be it. The only other option is to give up...and that is NOT an option.

Take care and talk to you again soon,
Mike

This is hard to say...

Not sure where to start...or even if it's worth talking about at this point. Just like everything in life, this weight loss journey has had plenty of ups and downs. The formula is simple: 1) quit eating junk, 2) smaller portions of real foods, and 3) move more. For me though, I tend to ignore those easy rules and instead opt for the "delicious" foods from a drive through or casual restaurant in lieu of a healthy prepared meal at home. I stay so busy that I use it as an excuse to not exercise and to go through drive through windows on the way home. Instead of picking the low calorie or smaller menu item, I go for the bacon cheese option....but of course add the diet soda on the side. Obviously, more downs have been had as of late.

I start each day with the best of intentions. I go to bed most days with the worst of regrets. Of course my thoughts then go back to the bad example I set for my kids. My body tells me what trouble I am in by having pain in my knees and hip, breathing heavy after a set of stairs and seeing the signs of poor circulation in my legs. Yet I continuously ignore all of that and succumb to everything bad that I know I shouldn't be doing when it comes to healthy eating and living.

Since I was 4 years old, 31 years now, I have almost continuously been on a diet or weight loss program, yet have only really had one successful long term go at it when I was about 13. As an adult now, I know that a lifestyle change is the only way to achieve success. Unfortunately I cannot, as of yet, let go of my old demons that I give into regarding food and exercise.

So instead of this blog being a source of motivation and venting, it has become a page I avoid due to there are more negative's I have to share than positives. It is for that reason that I will not be updating this blog until I get my stuff together. One day I hope to come back to this blog and share the wonderful story of how me and the family reached our weight loss goal, or at least that we are on the right track. Until then though, I appreciate all the well wishes and positive feedback has gotten over the last several months. It truly does mean a ton to us! Fear not, I have not given up. When I wake up tomorrow, God willing, I will again start the day with the expectation to avoid eating out, sticking to my healthy packed breakfast and lunch and maybe even go for a walk after visiting my mom at the hospital. I want to be stronger than my temptations and can only keep believing that I will defeat the next one.

Take care friends, hopefully I will be talking to you again soon. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Mike

Full steam ahead!

We are just under 2 weeks into our healthy habits, and there has been no shortage of chances to screw up. Just yesterday I was sitting less than ten feet from a man devouring a plate of buffalo wings and onion rings. I'm sure I stared for a minute, but than I was over it. Today I went to a BBQ place and chose a salad bar while plates of brisket and ribs surrounded me. So here I am on a Saturday night thinking of all the delicious food I passed on this week and couldn't feel prouder for myself (BTW, Chloe has did equally well too...but I will let her put her own words on here later, so this post will be reflecting my thoughts only, lol).

This last two weeks have been the easiest I have ever had when trying to implement new healthy lifestyle techniques. I can attribute that to my wife joining Chloe and I, and two great friends talking to me daily and us helping motivate and encourage each other. This is not a one day at a time thing, this is a one hour at a time mission. All it takes is giving into a pack of candy or a slice of cake that could send me back to the mentality of "I already screwed up, might as well eat this too", and sabotage this whole journey...again. I would like to think I am strong, but when it comes to food I am far from it. I am not depriving myself of foods, but I am avoiding the ones that I know lead me astray. The loaf of Italian bread, pizza, ice cream, Doritos and even sugar free candy have all been blacklisted from my food list. I can't stop at one piece of sugar free chocolate, I eat the whole back of 7 pieces in a day. A serving of Doritos just ticks me off and makes me want more. And the whole "just eat one or two slices of pizza" that everyone (skinny) tells me to do just doesn't work for me. So instead of moderation for these items, I stay far away.

But enough of what I don't eat and let me share what I have been eating. I have found ground turkey breast to be perfect for oven baked burgers and dinner size Italian meatballs. Weight Watcher's has frozen chicken breast already in 5oz serving sizes that are trimmed and easy to throw in the oven for 140 calories each. Broccoli, cauliflower, romaine lettuce and any other veggie is on my plate with each meal. Instead of bread, I am eating these heart healthy pitas from Joseph that are made with oatmeal, flax seed and whole wheat that are only 60 calories and only 4 net carbs. One night we put them on a cookie sheet, spread salsa on them, topped with a little shredded cheese and canned chicken breast for a quick low calorie Mexican pizza. Flatouts flat bread is another good low calorie/low carb bread substitute. Finally, my most common food has been oatmeal and a banana for breakfast. I just use 1/2 cup quick oats and add 3 packs of Stevia/Splenda and a little cinnamon and I am good to go. Now that I have a bag of flax seed, I will add that to it for some added health benefits.

My area of opportunity remains exercise. I still am pretty sedentary, except for being on the go on the weekend. I hope to either start walking at Walmart around the edge of the store, or have the weather break to get some neighborhood walks in just to get some moving around in. I also need to quit the diet pop and just drink water...but that will have to wait until I know for sure I am good with my eating. You may not believe it, but a Diet Mt. Dew really helps when I want something sweet. And yes I realize the artificial sweetener is tricking my body into thinking it is sugar which causes a release of insulin that in turn causes my body to crave food/sugar...but in my head I swear the pop helps so let me live in denial, lol.

I will end with some results. I weighed in on 1/3/13 at 395 lbs. Initially I ate well 1/2-1/4 (yes, not too long) and didn't really get back on track until 1/7/13. As of last Tuesday the 15th I was 383 lbs. In the past I would have been ticked it wasn't a huge 20 pound loss in two weeks, but I am ecstatic about 12 pounds! I really didn't suffer or starve to get there. I also have found my appetite shrinking and my clothes getting looser. Thank God that I got my senses back to see where I was heading if I kept doing what I always did. It is full steam ahead, probably for the rest of my life, on eating/living healthy. More to come later friends.

Mike

A Much Needed Reboot

It has been ages since I have actually had the desire to post anything regarding my weight loss on this blog. When I started this little personal blog for me and Chloe last year, it was meant to lay out our eating and fitness habits for the world to see, even if only one other person read it, to keep us accountable. Where we lost focus was that WE needed to keep ourselves and each other accountable and this blog should have just been an outlet for venting our thoughts and feelings. Since July and our vacation, the eating well left and the fitness has been non-existent. The pride of losing around 50 pounds was replaced with the disgust of gaining about 40 of it back. I won't go any further into the negativity I was feeling...previous posts sum that up enough.

Instead, I will focus on the personal reboot to the mind and body that is taking place. Chloe and I are about a week into continuing our weight loss journey. We did an initial weigh in, but are only going to weigh once a month to avoid falling back into the scale discouragement that often occurs on days we weigh more than we think we should. Chloe is 14 now and still growing and developing into a young woman. The last thing she needs is to develop an eating disorder over trying to lose weight. So we are keeping things realistic and easier for her to do. She watches her calories on the MyFitnessPal app, still allows herself to eat what she likes (in moderation) and is avoiding as much fried and sugary foods as possible. So far, so good for her. I have focused on trying to cut as much processed foods from my diet as possible. Fruits, vegetables, lean meat and whole grains are a staple to my eating plan. Bread, sweets, crackers, cookies and other junk food are not part of it.

My wife has joined MyFitnessPal with us to help her get healthy too. While she has no weight to lose, she too realizes how unhealthy our eating has become. Our son Austin...well, let's just say we do what we can to get him the right foods, but at 11 years old and super picky he has an alternate menu most meals. Eventually adding our walks back into our routine, along with basic exercises at home, should help all of us even more.

So that is about all I got for tonight. As always, I hope this blog will inspire someone one day on their weight loss journey as much as I hope it keeps me on mine. Also though, keep in mind, this is pretty much my (and Chloe's) journal that will be used to vent and brag about the good and bad through all this. I am not writing to win 20000 views, I am writing for me. No need to critique my posts or slam the blog. I hope my friends and those also trying to shed some pounds will find future posts insightful or motivating, and that they will leave a comment to help inform or motivate us as well.

More thoughts, tips and rants to come. Thanks for reading and keep the fingers crossed or say a prayer that this will be the last reboot we need.

Mike