As I start this post at about 1:30am, during yet another bout of sleeplessness, I've got a restless mind tonight. The day (I am referring to yesterday...kind of confusing writing in the early hours of the next day about the previous day) started off great. I did my weight loss contest final weight in and confirmed my 27 pound/7.11% body weight loss. Then me and the kids met friends for lunch. I didn't want a salad and I didn't want to eat crappy either. So I opted for a turkey bacon avocado sandwich on rye with steamed broccoli on the side. Two things wrong with this order on my part, I forgot to say no mayo and I have pretty much quit eating bread. The bacon I wasn't worried about, as I don't eat much greasy meat and am almost always under my calories. I didn't beat myself up too bad over the mayo and bread, and my lunch totaled less than 600 calories, so no biggie.
Tonight however I found out something that I kind of wish I could forget. Let me back up for a second first though to recap...I have not had a diet soda in a month due to the use of Aspartame and the link that has been found between it and food cravings, compulsive eating that it may cause and countless other not so good side effects. Since quitting diet soda, and all pop, I have felt great and had no food cravings (except for one stress eating night a few weeks ago) and have not regretted quitting it. So now back to tonight and what I learned: A favorite diet soda of mine, Diet Cheerwine (only available in the south and the closest place that carries it is 20 minutes away from home), is made with Sucralose sweetener (Splenda) instead of Aspartame! This was big news for me since I use Splenda as my sweetener and have not had any of the reported issues that are associated with Aspartame, so I figured now I can have the occassional Diet Cheerwine as a change up beverage.
Now though, 4 hours removed from that bubbly stranger diet soda, I have this feeling of guilt and regret. Usually this is reserved for eating bad foods, but right now it is because of a drink. My gut feels bloated. I'm sure the infusion of caffeine is helping my sleeplessness. I also wish I had drank more water today because after my diet soda I didn't have another drop of water. I guess part of my fear is that my subconscious will associate diet soda with the crap foods I used to eat and start craving them again. Another fear is that this will lead me to drinking more than just 1 can every other day and lead to decreasing my water intake and slowly get me out of my good habits. Who knew a 12 oz can of 0 calorie soda could lead to anxiety and fear of relapsing to food past food addictions.The other side of that is this opens up a low calorie treat that I have missed since quitting Aspartame sodas. Looks like the nervous "what ifs" outweigh the "no big deal" when it comes to discovering a legal diet soda.
So with mixed feelings on a trivial matter, I think I will stay the course with water as my bff and leave the Diet Cheerwine as my bi-weekly treat. I don't think I can trust myself to having one a day or every other day. The old Mike is not gone yet, he is merely being trained on healthy living. I'd hate for him to cut class and fall off the wagon because of the sweet taste of diet pop. I figure I am the only person that can read so much into drinking a can of soda, so it's okay if you have that "are you kidding me" look on your face after reading this. Just had to vent about a 1:30 am thought that was on my mind and this blog is the only thing awake that would listen.
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