Wow...

I am pretty sure all those who once read and supported our blog have given up on us posting again. I would have. But I will write once more, and possibly for a final time, for me tonight. I am not going to speak for Chloe. She is 13, is doing 13 year old girl things and has a lot of things going on that rank above a hardcore focus on losing weight. For the record, she has gained some weight back from what was lost the beginning of the year and into the summer, but she is staying pretty consistent. So let me just use this blog to vent for a few about what's on my mind.

I screwed up royally. I gained pretty much all but 10 pounds back since July. My eating habits are the worst they have been. I have spiraled out of control. Any stress or frustration leads me to fast food, junk food and/or huge portions on my plate. Zero physical activity has replaced the neighborhood walks. I start the day with the best intentions, only to have a 2000 calorie dinner/snack evening. I would like to say, for the 1000th time, "I know what to do, so now I just gotta do it". But that is BS, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix my brain to not want food. I don't know if I should watch my calories, portions and/or carbs. I don't know the best way to plan a weeks meals with everyone eating differently and with a working families budget. Kinda hard to spend $30 on veggies and 4 days later see half have either went bad or just aren't getting ate. Of course that may be a cop-out since I could just buy my food each day that I am going to prepare and ditch the once a week shopping expedition. I hate this sooooo much. This 150 pound mountain that sits in front of me seems unclimbable. I feel like I am having to walk to Alaska, but still standing on the road in Kentucky. The success stories of those I read about are so inspiring, but looking at this blog and seeing how I was on that same successful path and blew it is so discouraging.

I don't know where to start back on track at. All I know is that if I don't my life will be over in the not too distant future. My asthma attacks are coming back, as well as the shortness of breath and chest aches. My knees feel like they will snap some days. I feel like such a failure to myself and my family. I doubt there will be anymore Mike and Chloe lose it posts for a bit. Kinda pointless if neither of us are losing it. So if anyone reads this, say a prayer or keep some fingers crossed for me that I will find a moment of clarity and a solution to why I fail at losing weight.

Mike

Quick update from Chloe

Hello everyone! This past Sunday my family and I went on vacation to myrtle beach, SC. While there we all gained a few pounds but no huge gains thankfully. My Aunt Lisa (mikes sister) called on Monday (while we were in SC) to inform us that my Grandma had been hospitalized due to an open place on her foot that had developed 2 bacterias in it. Only 1 has been identified because the other's not developed enough yet. She was first told that she had to stay until it was identified but now she has to stay for at least 3 more weeks. Ever since we got back from vacation, we've not made wise food choices... I'm hoping tomorrow my head will come back and I will make good choices and start exercising again. I'm going to try my best to motivate dad into getting back on track too. Thanks for all you support!

A quick hello...

Let me give a quick update on how crazy it has been lately for me (and Chloe):

My mom is having medical issues which is requiring me to be her health care person twice a day. Long story short, home healthcare is not covered to administer IV's twice a day and bandage her diabetic ulcer on her foot each day. Instead, they showed me how to do it. So each day at 5am we wake up to be at her house by 6am. From 6 til about 7:15 I wait with her while her IV does it's thing. By 7:30 I drive to work. I put in my 8-4:30 M-F and head back to my mom's to bandage her foot and give second IV. Usually we get home about 7:30 just in time to cook, eat and go to bed. Meanwhile, Chloe is her helper/assistant while I am at work. Of course we don't care a bit to do all this, but it is only a 5 days in and we are getting pretty tired. This is why our blog will be neglected for about another 25 days.

Weigh in stuff:

Awesome news this week, Austin has lost about 5 pounds since he started being more conscious of his eating. Chloe has lost, but not weighed in a few days. Her clothes are looking baggier though. I ended up gaining 6 pounds from the 5th to the 12th, but from the 12th to this past Tuesday I have lost 10 pounds! (I did eat a high calorie/fat meal for dinner tonight, but no biggies...I won't let it carry into tomorrow).

So that's all for tonight, and possibly a few days. Schedule is busy, but at least I'm usually too tired to snack late at night or even want to eat much when I get home. Have a great rest of the week friends.

Mike

Epic Fails...

Last week my post touched on my "cheat days" and how I credited them with keeping my cravings low which in turn aided in my success. I retract and denounce those statements. Since my two days off the plan last weekend, I have only ate right for two days. Chloe was at church camp all week and did equally bad on her food plan, but at least she moved around through the day. I am so ticked at myself and feel like such a failure. For the better part of 3 months I did the right things and lost 35 pounds, so it really sucks realizing that these past 7 out of 10 days has probably killed much of that success. Yesterday I would have actually been in my calorie range, but I had a 560 calorie coffee drink, 380 dessert treat and some nacho chips. Just reckless, stupid and old bad habits. Tuesday I will find out what the damage is on the scale.

Tomorrow is Austin's birthday. I will enjoy seeing my son blow out his candles on the cake, but will not be eating any. I have got to get back on cutting out bad carbs, watching my portions and walking more again. Tomorrow I will get my fresh start. It would be so easy to keep going down this lazy road, but I refuse to lose this battle. It's one bad week out of my life and will not derail me from future success.

I think that is all I got to share tonight. I could write a book on how I feel, but I think I will sum it up by saying that we are not giving up and will work even harder than before to reach our goals! Take care friends.

Cheaters never win...or do they?

Hello again friends:

Today is kind of a so-so day for me. Chloe went off to church camp for the week, so kind of lost without my girl. Thankfully I got my boy and the wife to bug so I won't be too bummed. Anyway, let me bring you up to speed on the weight loss stats. I weighed in yesterday at the city biggest loser contest 6 pounds lighter than two weeks ago. Was great to be in a new weight range. It would have been better to be at 10 pounds lost, but slow and steady wins the race.

As mentioned in this post's title, I am cheating. By cheating, I have been letting myself have a Saturday or Sunday to eat what "bad" food I want, just not go crazy. So far this has not hurt me at all as I had kinda feared. Last month I was discouraged when I had a bad day on Saturday, but ate well the rest of the week. Once I seen that I still had a good loss and virtually no cravings that week I kept the experiment going. What I have found is that by having that extra 1500 calories (or more) that one day, the rest of the week I eat my 1600 calories without being hungry or craving any junk. In fact there have been several days where my calories only totaled about 1100. So I'm thinking the weekly calories in, even with my cheat day, are still averaging about 1600 a day and with my activity increasing it is keeping me on the right track.

Today though I have to confess my bad bad sinful ways from this weekend. I have cheated yesterday and today. Due to some health issues of my mom, I was at her house caring for her from early Saturday morning until about 3pm. I had ate nothing the whole day and was really hungry. So I figured my cheat meal would be a Chinese buffet. Fast forwarding to keep this brief, from Chinese on Saturday up until right now, I have ate like a madman. Chinese, pizza, ice cream and cheeseburgers n fries. Overboard much? Absolutely. Feeling bad for it? Yes, but not that bad. I know the rest of the week I will be back to packing my lunch and eating healthy dinners. I will also be back to walking at work and after work. These two days got my pizza, Chinese, fries and ice cream desires out of the way so I can be cool with my regular M-F routine. Tuesday will be a disappointing weigh in, but I will regroup and have a good loss by weeks end. Next weekend I will just have to get back to have a cheat meal, not an entire weekend.

Let me wrap this up:

I had mentioned getting my Fitbit last week...LOVING IT! It is giving my steps and distance walked, my activity level. little badges of encouragement and it communicates with MyFitnessPal.com perfectly. Even on my off days, I wear it and it keeps me aware of how lazy or ambitious I have been. It is also showing me how unproductive some of my sleep nights are allowing me to realize I need to be going to bed much earlier. I highly recommend getting one if you are trying to get/stay active.

Lastly, for those who like to watch weight loss shows on television, like Biggest Loser or Heavy, tonight is the season premier of Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition on ABC at 9pm eastern time. Last season was very inspiring, so I expect the same for this season.

Take care and have a great week!

Memorial Day Quick Update

Holiday thoughts:
This is a bittersweet holiday that we acknowledge. Cookouts, fun in the sun and being off work are all great benefits of this day. We also though take the time to think of my cousin who passed away on Memorial day a few years back. Then when we decorate family graves during the weekend, memories of our loved ones who aren't with us fill our hearts. We take a moment to reflect on those who gave all for this country and for those still in uniform. Thankful for them all.

How it went:
This holiday weekend was absolutely beautiful. My sister and nephew arrived Saturday and we had a great weekend hanging out with my mom. There was no big cookout. Instead, mom made her chili for chili buns and we had melon and strawberries for dessert. I used my Myfitnesspal app to figure the calories and serving size for her chili. Turns out was just about 280 calories for a bowl full. Unfortunately, I let old Mike make 4 chili buns with it and some chips with dip. By Saturday night I was about 536 calories over. Not bad, considering I still was under 2150 calories for the day. Chloe did just as average for that day too. Little over her limit, but not much.

Sunday we met up with my sister and nephew at a little Italian restaurant. This place has an awesome assortment of cakes in a big glass case right in the middle of the dining room area. I made sure to sit with my back to it. Poor Chloe was staring right at it and my sister made sure that we knew she would be trying a piece which then got Austin fired up for it too. We stayed strong through the lunch. I ordered a grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side and avoided breadsticks. Chloe had a turkey sandwich melt on rye along with steamed veggies.

Then came dessert...

Now usually we NEVER get dessert. This time though, my sister and nephew ordered a piece (which are gigantic pieces) and the dad in me took over instead of the dietician. I figured that they are kids and it's hard to just watch someone eat that stuff especially when you are a kid. I let them split 1 piece. I think it may have lasted 9 minutes before it was devoured. Again, they could have did much worse and they both got their dessert on without gorging on a whole piece each. I didn't have any, so I felt really good. Chloe got the regrets, but Austin was perfectly content with eating his half.

For dinner Sunday, my sister made a Mexican dinner for us. Long story short, it turned on my carb cravings and by 11pm I had consumed just under 2000 calories. This was 400 over my goal of 1600 calories. Chloe was also over her calories, but those pretty much left when the cake came to lunch.

Other stuff besides food:

Per my FitBit info collected, we walked an average of 3 miles both Saturday and Sunday. Today we have not did anything to get any calories burned. The "too hot outside" excuse was handed out today. We also have drank a ton of diet soda this weekend, so tonight I am struggling to get my water in. With weigh in at work tomorrow, I am not too excited about seeing the scales. While I didn't do terrible, I sure didn't do good this weekend. It's all good though, two bad meals aren't going to send us on the wrong path. One meal at a time and we will reach our goals. Have a great week friends.

A family affair

This post is long, but I have to share:

My daughter Chloe has always taken after my side of the family in regards to size. She is tall and unfortunately has a slower metabolism like me that makes it easy for her to gain weight. My 10 year old son Austin has always seemed to be more like my wife in terms of size. He is on the shorter side and always was little. Since my wife is all of 5'2" and 120 pounds, I just assumed he would luck out and not have weight issues. I was wrong. Over the last couple years he has steadily gained weight. He has many of the traits of a condition that naturally leads him to not like many different foods. So his diet for the past several years has been composed of mainly processed foods. Plain cheeseburgers, cheese pizza, mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs and pizza rolls pretty much summed up the only main foods he would eat. Mixed in through the week, we can get him to try a few things here and there, but not as much healthy stuff. He once went almost 2 days without eating when I told him eat some veggies and chicken breast or nothing...for fear of him collapsing, I gave in first.

It was our fault for feeding him this crap, but we really just didn't know how to get him to eat better. We did get healthier varieties at least. Reduced fat, no sugar added, sugar free and reduced calorie options were the priority, but it was still processed crap. Thank God that yesterday Austin had an epiphany about his weight gain!

After seeing that none of his jean shorts or khaki shorts fit anymore (he has been wearing out those grow with ya gym shorts), we had to go clothes shopping. It was such a defeated look on his face when I told him that the pair of shorts he was trying on was the biggest size in the boys section. Moments later, he had one of his rare asthma attacks. It had been years since he had one, but he has had two within the last month. When me and him got by ourselves, just us men you know, we had a talk. I told him that the recent rapid weight gain can cause his breathing issues. I also told him that all the sugary foods he should lay off on could eventually make his blood thick like jello and hurt his heart and body over time (Yes, two scary bold things, but 100% true). I asked him if he would be willing to not go on a diet, but just start eating a few more good foods and a few less bad ones. He started asking about what foods so I knew he was close to agreeing. For the first time he talked to me about his weight. He said he knew he was bigger because one of the parts of his playground he now has to turn sideways to fit inside. He also said he didn't want to be called fat in middle school. That killed my soul just knowing my shy little boy had been called fat no telling how many times and just had kept it bottled up. I kept my composure though, and told him that by August he would be much healthier and feel better if he followed our new habits. Austin agreed to do what me and Chloe (and the wife since she is supporting us too) are doing.

Today he ate carrot sticks, fruit packed in water, reduced fat string cheese and every other healthy food he could. So tonight he is going to bed full and only had about 1300 calories! I don't have him on a strict calorie count as he is only 10 and I am not 100% on recommendations for that age, but he is on a common sense food total. I couldn't be more proud that he is wanting to get healthier too, along with the rest of us!

Tonight we went on what probably was a 3 mile walk. It was so great that all of us were like ducks in a row walking around the neighborhood. We about killed ourselves on big hills, but feel all the better because of it. The lady at the gas station bragged on us for trying to get fit as a family and wished us luck. That made me even more proud of how we are living now as opposed to just a few weeks ago. If we can make these positive changes, anyone can. Don't wait for tomorrow, or Monday or the first of the month or whatever your excuse is. Start now! If you need support or encouragement to get started, but can't find anyone to talk to about it, we are more than happy to be there for you...just email me at pusserwade77@yahoo.com or find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/friendsoflosingit.